ZOMG Smells Limited Edition Perfume Oil (Limited)
All captains are dashing. It comes with the hat, probably. They don't let you become a captain unless you can dash. While wearing a hat.
Yes, that's probably it.
We've taken that dash a step beyond, though. We've taken it to a darker place. A — dare we say it — dastardly place. (Apparently we do dare to say it. Check that out. Yeah. It's nice. Might say it again. :D)
DASTARDLY CAPTAIN.
He is the swashbuckling, ship-steering suitor you have to watch out for. Or maybe she's the kind of naughty rapier-twirling cad you want to be. Either way, we know what this smells like, and we're making this essence of naughty, unreliable but attractive person available to YOU in case you'd like to A. confuse and repel one by smelling like his or her own kind (a wicked, dangerous and lush creature), B. alert nearby non-dastardly individuals that you, too are a wicked, lush and dangerous creature, or 3. attract a dastardly captain using captain pheromones, lightly scented with dastard.
This scent involves sandalwood, (the ancient choice of many sensual creatures before you), cognac (for making you feel even more like a winner), fine Italian lemon (Italy! It's got stuff in it!), and the dark, rich musk of captain pheromones (we squoze them fresh just for you).
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