Pecan Pie

Let's talk about pie. Who doesn't love pie? You are a godless fiend if you don't like pie, and if you don't like it, you needn't read further.

Pie is perfect. It can be sweet or savory, has limitless flavor options (and therefore, limitless potential), comes in all shapes and sizes, and is defined by its crust. In short, pie is a lot like Life Itself. We're all a little crusty.

Pies have been a staple of the human diet throughout history, there was even a Mullet pie in the 13th century. Who doesn't love Mullet? Pie has been eaten since the Pharaohs, but it took the Greeks to perfect it. Pies appeared in ancient Sumer and Imperial Rome, and made guest appearances in Aristophanes' plays. Pies in the arts! Pies throughout history!

Pies aren't just for eating: if clues left to us through the nursery rhyme Little Jack Horner hold any weight, pies were utilized by scurrilous rogues to courier bribes!

Americans have been raised to believe that they are all about the apple pie, but apple pie was mentioned in the Forme of Cury – which means that apple pie might be actually be French. (I FEEL BETRAYED.)

Pies are for comfort, pies are celebratory, pies are an integral part of slapstick comedy!

Famous pie eaters: Mark Twain, Diamond Jim Brady, and Puddin' Barrial.

The goblins and I were sitting around the dungeon after a hard day of doing nothing and, as it always does, the subject of pie came up.

"What is your favorite pie?" asked Goblin #23.

For many moments, there was a cacophony of goblin squealing and yelling over which pie is best.

"Pecan!"
"Key Lime!"
"Blueberry Cream Pie!"
"Blackbird Pie!"
"Pi Pie!"

In an attempt to attain a definitive answer, I demanded a scent test. Taste, surely, is important; but scent is what lures you to the pie. I locked each goblin alone with all of Black Phoenix's oils, and this is what they came up with:

-Pecan Pie
-Key Lime Pie
-Banana Cream Pie
-Blueberry Cream Pie
-Apple Pie
-Marshmallow Cookie Pie
-Peach Pie